Celebrity children.

We all know they are mini-demonic products of their environments, but we only get to see them in angelic photos that the paparazzi manage to snag en route to either soccer or ballet. 

But, thanks to Allie Hagan -- the creator of Suri’s Burn Book, a popular Tumblr that released in book form this week -- we now have a little inside view on the catty world of famous babies.

Tom Cruise and Katie Holme's super-stylish daughter adds a little commentary to the daily inundation of celebrity children photos. Suri’s (read: Hagan’s) favorite topics are picking apart her competition’s lack of style, chastising them for their lack of class and expounding upon her own fabulous life:

• On a dog the paparazzi mistook for her own: "What I want is a tiny puppy I can name Anderson Cooper and carry around in a Louis Vuitton bag. This dog (Katie’s brother’s) looks like the stray that Little Orphan Annie picked up off the street. I have standards."
   
• On her newest rival: "Giuliana and Bill Rancic’s baby was born last night. His name is Edward Duke Rancic, he was named after Bill’s father (or possibly Giuliana’s favorite Twilight character — you never know), and I’m already bored."
   
• On her book: "My book won’t be officially released until September 4 (I’m trying to upstage Beyonce on her birthday), but like everything sought-after in the industry, it has leaked early online.