
"Shit My Dad Says" Creator Justin Halpern is famous for his father’s words, but his second book,
"I Suck at Girls," is centered more on himself.
But, never fear, his father is still a very prominent part of the narrative.
Glittarazzi caught up with Justin after his book signing at Sixth & I Historic Synagogue in Washington, D.C., and here's what he had to say. ...
What inspired you to write this book?
Definitely proposing to my wife and feeling like I had gone through a lot in my life at that point. I think that it’s nice to have a catalogue of what I went through in adolescence and to know, alright, here’s all the funny failures I’ve had.
Did that help you in proposing?
Yeah I thought it was really cathartic.
What does your wife think of the book?
She likes it. I mean she doesn’t love reading a couple chapters in it, like me dating other women and stuff. But I don’t write about sex really. I gloss over it and talk about the awkwardness of it. It’s not a book where I’m championing all the girls that I get, because I don’t, A, and also, B, I hate reading about people having sex. I hate it.
Is she in the book?
She is. She’s in the last two-and-a-half chapters.
What do we have to do to get a copy of your book signed by your dad?
(Laughs) You know what? You just have to go to the Bookstar in San Diego because he doesn’t leave like a mile radius of his house and that store is within a mile’s radius. He’ll go in and be like, “How’s that book selling?” And they all know him. They’ll be like, “Sam, come here and sign books.” And he just signs them “Dad.” That’s it. But in the enhanced e-books, I do a video interview with him.
He doesn’t like any attention, right?
Yeah, the only way he would do it if it was just me and him and a camera. So I had to set up a camera, then turn it on and go walk around and ask him questions.
What’s the next embarrassing adolescent subject you’re planning on confronting publicly?
I think I’ll hold it there for awhile. I think I laid it all out there. I mean, there are a couple stories that don’t have anything to do with girls that are really embarrassing. Maybe I’ll write essays or something.
One of your first websites was called "Holy Taco," and your latest website is called "These Fries Are Good." What’s with all the fast food? Is that good for you?
Holy Taco, I didn’t name. I was just hired to start it. That was a big conglomerate who owned that, Lionsgate Media. With These Fries Are Good, I just wanted a site where I could just throw up stuff I thought was funny and my friend owned that domain name. It comes from this Chris Farley sketch on SNL we both really love. It’s where he played one of the Gap girls, where Adam Sandler would be one and David Spade would be one. They’re sitting in the mall and Chris Farley keeps eating the other’s fries and she’s like:
“I thought you were on a diet, Cindy.” (Girl voice)
“These fries are really good.” (Man voice)
“But I thought you were on a diet—“ (Girl voice)
“LAY OFF ME I’M STARVING.” (Man voice)
So is your mom jealous you haven’t written a book about her?
"No. The reason she’s barely in both these books is because that’s her request. 'As much of me that you can leave out and still tell the story, please do.' She’s way more private than my dad."
If you were going to write a book about her, what would it be called?
"Oh jeez. She would kill me. I don’t know."
Would that be the name?
"Yeah. "She Would Kill Me." I originally wanted to call this book "My Mom Thinks I’m Handsome,' but she didn’t want that and the publisher didn’t want that."
Have you ever recycled any of your dad’s quotes, or have they all been used just once?
"I’ve only used them one time, but I definitely use really old ones on the Twitter feed and books and stuff. People always think that’s how he talks all the time, but it’s not. I would be sitting next to him for eight hours and get one thing to put up. And he checks it, so even if I did want to make something up, he would know."
So he checks Twitter now?
"He just checks it like once a month just to make sure. And I don’t tweet that much. And if I use a really old one I’ll be like, 'Hey do you remember saying this?' And if he says yes, then I use it. If he says no, then I don’t."
What’s the strangest comment you’ve ever gotten from a fan?
"When I was in Texas this guy comes up to me, and this is so bad. He says, 'My dad cannot stand Mexicans either.' And I’m like, what?! There is nothing in my book about that at all! My dad is a very progressive guy."
How has fame changed you?
"Well, I’m not famous, so it hasn’t changed me much. I purposely don’t put any pictures of myself in the books, so that no one will ever recognize me. I want people to read the book and put themselves in my position. Like David Sedaris is a huge author, he’s f***ing hilarious and brilliant and I want to go on a journey with David Sedaris. I don’t want to put myself in David Sedaris’ shoes. My writing style is more like, hey here are these universal stories where they may tap into something that you remember. So if suddenly you have a picture of my face with this character, you’re not going to be able to get this (frames his face) out of your head. And it’s for worse, not for better. So that’s the cool thing about being a writer. No one knows who you are if you don’t want them to."
Thanks, Justin, for taking time out of your busy schedule to chat with Glittarazzi! We wish you the best of luck.
Buy "I Suck At Girls" here!
PHOTOS: Justin's book signing at Sixth & I Historic Synagogue in Washington, D.C.